I drove to work this morning listening to the calming sounds of an indie song “Shiver”. As I let my mind wander I kept looking over at the sun emerging through the blue sky. That’s when it happened. My grief cloud was sitting right beside me. We went down memory lane of when Mike (my husband) and I went to Pennsylvania and stayed in a quiet cabin overlooking a glorious lake. That was the last vacation we took while I was pregnant. The last time I was truly happy.
I can recall that trip so well. Every morning as I got dressed, I would look at my belly growing. There was a mirror coming down from the loft in the cabin where I would stop and gleam at myself as if I was somehow angelic like. I had a glow. I had THE pregnancy glow. I was so healthy. I ate nothing but fresh fruits, so much so that my husband thought I was going to turn into a watermelon! But the memory that started to make my gut hurt was my husband touching my stomach and listening for sounds and searching for kicks. I would wait patiently gently pressing in areas just to get a hint that my baby was still there.
I finished my drive and reached out to an angel mom that I hadn’t talked to in some time. We exchanged some personal feelings and I started to turn my attention to wanting to help her more than myself. You see, as grieving mothers talk…the pain eachother feels is so similar it hurts to know the other one is sad. I so badly wanted to take her pain away, and explained that during those moments when she can’t find a way from grief she has me as I have her. We go through this journey together. Angel parents are bonded.
Compassion is so important while on this journey called life. But it isn’t just the grieving mother. It is for everyone fighting a battle. The lesson today is to be willing to listen, be willing to love and be willing to make a selfless gesture of true compassion. Someday there may come a time when you search for understanding in a life where you feel alone. Choose kindness.