I have become a creature of symbols and sentimental thought provoking treasures. Today I left work feeling a little sad. Right before I left for the day, I opened up my email and saw the subject line “It’s A Girl”! Great, I thought to myself. Another one of the eight others I was pregnant with at work had her baby. I went into survival mode. I deleted the email, walked away and tried to distract myself from the fact that my pregnancy didn’t end with such a pleasant public announcement.
Brushing it off seemed easier than the deep sadness that very well could have ended my night. I headed over to the store after work and decided to do something nice for myself. I went down the ornament aisle and picked three special ornaments out.
One, a beautiful white butterfly that reminded me of the one @honoringjensen added to her remembrance tree. It made me think of all of the angels that we have to remember during this time. I smiled, placed it in my cart and continued.
Next I found a red bird on a red branch covered in glitter and knew it would look perfect on my garden Christmas tree with the rest of my cardinal ornaments.
And lastly, I found this little hummingbird. It reminded me of a summer night I sat alone missing Avery. It was quiet, still and the sun was setting behind me. I looked towards some flowers climbing a trellis off my deck and that is when I spotted my first tiny hummingbird. It was so amazing, so beautiful and quickly flew around happily checking out my mandavalia flowers before leaving. That one tiny encounter made my night back then. I picked up the ornament, thought of that night and felt a calming peace in my heart.
Sometimes giving back to yourself is exactly what you are in need of.
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